never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
