Just fell off a train. Bad.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize