I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
