hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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