she is the kim kardashian of front butts
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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