I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
