I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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