i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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