It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
