Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
