I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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