Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
