he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
