I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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