Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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