Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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