Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
