I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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