is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
