I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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