bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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