You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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