Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
