do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
