no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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