she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I FOUND THE LEGS
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
