That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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