fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
