can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
