I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize