ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
