What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
