I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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