what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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