Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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