those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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