dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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