the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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