I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
