No, drunk sperm still make babies.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
