Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
