lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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