Yo dont text me then not text me
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I love you. Go after that dick
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
