I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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