just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
