he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Randomize
