And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
