you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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