Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Bring me that man meat
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
