Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
