I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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