Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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