Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize