Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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